I've been charged with the task of raising the spirits on the blog. It's hard though as I just got back from seeing Dad and he's really not very well. He's tired and emotional and it's nothing to do with Jordan and Peter Andre's break up.
It's all completely normal and we knew before that this first week was going to be very unpleasant. I guess you can't take bits of the human body out and hope to get away with it.
He loves hearing about the blog. We've noticed you've actually started talking to each other on here now too. That means it's now officially an "E-Forum". A community of people bound together out of respect for one man's bottom.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Hi Jon
ReplyDeleteI am trying to dig out the hat you gave me to match the bag! Hang on in there buddy, it will be OK, I promise.
Thinking of you, Philip
I was going to save this...but when needs must...
ReplyDeleteTwo golfers are waiting their turn on the tee when a naked woman runs across the fairway and into the woods.
Two men in white coats and another guy carrying two buckets of sand are chasing her, and a little old man is bringing up the rear.
One of the golfers grabs the old man and says, “What the hell is going on?”
The old guy says, “She’s a nymphomaniac from an asylum, she keeps trying to escape, and us attendants are trying to catch her.”
The golfer says, “What about the guy with the buckets of sand?”
The old guy says, “That’s his handicap. He caught her last time.”
Pirate Man
Oli
ReplyDeleteBound together and man's bottom should never be used in one sentence. Whilst I have great respect and affection for your Dad, having shared a room with him over the golfing years, his bottom never earned him much goodwill.
Keep your chin up Jon.
Cheers
Malcolm
Well done Oli, you're a star! Poor Jon, T&E is not a feeling that's terribly familiar to him. Have faith sweetie, the bumps along Recovery Road will get easier.
ReplyDeleteMust dash, I think that's Peter Andre knocking at the door, again!
Lots of love.
Lynn D xxx
It does seem to be a roller coaster of emotions this week for you all. Hope you feel better soon Jon - it must make you so proud that your support system (family and friends) is so strong. Lucky man! Good vibes being sent your way tonight!
ReplyDeleteFrances and Skip xoxoxox
Jon,
ReplyDeleteHad a crap day today, played like a idiot two over on the first, put it in the lake on the second, three of the tee on the third managed to get it back on track but still was 14 over by the turn.
The back nine was not much better but felt I was swinging with more confidence even managed a par on the 14th. The 16 is a short par 3 very well shielded by bunkers, managed to put it on the green and then knocked it 6 ft past and missed the one coming back (it just lipped out but still a miss) the 17th a par 4 was two over and the 18th a par five down in eight. A real disaster. Never mind I will keep trying.
By the way how are you feeling?
Love Graham,
(from hot humid Florida)
DAY 1 Naga Report.
ReplyDeleteWhat do Vera and Maradona have in common?
May 11, 2009, Vera's birthday. The 16th at Maitland is known as "The Graveyard". A deep and swirling creek guards a bunkered tiny green. Robbie laid up, twice (the second time unintentionally), whereas Mark bravely flew the hazards with a beautifully struck 5 iron. "Here is my chance to gain a number of strokes on Rob," he unwisely thought, as Rob's supposed little chip was in fact a full blooded 140 metre shot heading straight towards the said cemetery behind the green. But no, it was not to be. Rob's ball hit a lone branch stuck out from a fig tree (Vera's favourite), reversed 40 metres, landed on the back edge of the green and trickled down to 3 inches from the hole for a gimme. Mark duly 3 putted to halve the hole.
Leo was held up and arrived late arvo only to be bombarded with all the drivel about Rob's "Hand of God" shot... She is now known as Mummadona. He also learned to his regret that his failure to show on the first green, wearing his poobah hat, had earned him serious NAGA points. The scorecard duly showed that he had a terrible round, pegging up 24 strokes on one hole alone. Jon, needless to say, had an even worse round - a real shocker, even by his standards. Tough luck boys: no quarter given, rules are rules.
Night 1's world championship 10-plus game resulted in a narrow and somewhat lucky win to Rob, closely followed by Leo with Mark a distant third. Needless to say, Jon had a shocker and failed to register even a single Aspro. Rules are rules.
Lovely meal cooked by Lis and washed down with copious cocktails and fine wines. As usual Leo did all the washing up - took 3 hours. We raised a toast to Jon. Then another one. Fifteen toasts later, it was all agreed what a fine chap he was for giving us an excuse to drink even more than usual, and one less brother to share with! Rules are rules.
Day 2 tomorrow with another game at Maitland.
Naga points to date Rob 4, Mark 2, Leo nil, Jon nil.
Day 2 progress report.
Played Maitland in beautiful sunny conditions, 23 degrees, no wind (well a couple of "a bit of choke and it would have starteds") and hardly anybody on the course. Wonderful. Needless to say, Jon had another shocker. Found every tree, every bit of water and six-putted every green.
Results: Mark 98, Rob 118, Leo 119.
Naga Points: Mark 2, Rob 1, Leo Nil, Jon Nil.
Leo set a new world record by hitting four shots in a row into the same dam (Aqua Boys) resulting in a 13 for that hole.
Naga points to date. Mark 4, Rob 4, Leo Nil, Jon Nil.
At a specially convened meeting of the Rules Commitee it was ruled that in the certain event of a tie between Leo and Jon then Leo will be the 2009 NAGA as Jon has a slightly better excuse for not being able to score any points other than an inability to play golf.
Doesn't seem the same without Jon being here this year but rest assured we are doing our best to maintain the lousy golf scores and the high alcohol consumption.
Playing at Paterson tomorrow. Must go, BBQ awaits.
Nothing is simple in life and for you this is your BIG challenge and tomorrow is going to be a good day. We loved the comment Oli made about Jordan and Pete,apparently they are getting back together!!!!!
ReplyDeleteWe send you much love the Smiles xxxxxxx
A midwife is walking past the hospital staffroom, when she hears two African doctors talking, "I'm telling you it's wumba: W-U-M-B-A," says the first.
ReplyDelete"No. It's woombaa: W-O-O-M-B-A-A," says the second.
"No, no, no. Wumba: W-U-M-B-A," says the first again.
At this the nurse pops her head through the door, "I think you'll find, gentlemen, it's WOMB: W-O-M-B,"
The two doctors look blankly at her, until one of them says, "Madam. I doubt if you've ever even SEEN a water buffalo, let alone heard one fart in a mudpool,".
Hi Jon. Sorry to hear that you had a bad day, but you know what they say, you have to have the downs to apprerciate the highs and I am sure that you will start have more good days than bad very soon. Hang on in there. Everyone is rooting for you.Lots love Sue x
ReplyDeleteHi Jon,what a great family team you have around you! Sorry to read that the last few days have been so difficult and painful but hang on in there. I'm sure your positive attitude and great sense of humour will win the day. We're all sending you love and positive vibes. Nigel
ReplyDeleteJon, it is so sweet everyone cracking jokes to help you through the worst. I wish I had one at hand... Thinking of you and hope the worst will soon be over! Joanna
ReplyDeleteHi Jon....thinking of you lots today.
ReplyDeleteNo news on Peter and Jordan I am afraid - they are remaining uncharacteristically quiet. I think it is because Peter is too busy with his new mysterious girl - Lynn.
Sending lots of positive thoughts over to you and Marilyn.
Lots of Love
George & Charlie x x
Dear Jon
ReplyDeleteOops, does this count as a Dear John letter?
A one, Mr Phelps has alerted me to your plight. At first I thought this was an extreme weaze to get more attention. All Aussies have a chip on their shoulder. Some have two in fact, which meams even more drastic measures are required for the body to compensate.
I now know that the heat is on and that you are dealing with the gremlins of Cancer, which are not to be farted at.
You are an excellent trencherman and with the help of your family and friends you will put this episode behind you. That is not a pun or a joke!
James Paula and I are thinking of you, and Paula and I will drink to you tonight, when we see Graham and Marta for dinner. After that initial drink we will continue to drink for you till the end of the evening.
If you would like to chat, I am always about:
01483 267 272.
Roger Dewfall went in to hospital, but he is aware that this is not a competition.
Hang in there my friend and give em hell!!!
Lots of Love
Noel, Paula and James Boyd